recurring dreams

One of the recurring dreams that I have is the variation of the same theme. In this dream, I have killed someone (sometimes unintentionally) and am examining the consequences.

Sometimes I don't even remember the murder, the dream begins at the point when I am running away from my guilty conscience and the rest of the world. I'm constantly wondering if anyone knows or suspects me. I look through newspapers and magazines, I watch the news and am afraid to talk to anyone. I live in constant transit.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night in fear. I had a nightmare. I dreamt, again, that I was a brutal murderer. That I had killed not once, but twice at least, that I had an accomplice that was even more brutal and horrific in his crimes, and that both of us have been caught. I had a distinct and detailed version of the crime, and it was violent, and nasty, and cruel.

When we were caught, however, there was no punishment. Our acts have been revealed and accepted. There were no consequences.

It was one of the scariest dreams I've ever had.